Comicsartist

When I came to this time around I found myself in a different court room with a new judge. Judy apparently popped a handful of blood pressure meds, flipped the fuck out, and came within an inch of killing the prosecuting attorney (which would have been fine with me) and yours truly (which wouldn't have sat well). And, she then sentenced herself to twenty years, with time off for good behavior, appealed her own case and won, and walked out of the courthouse a free woman.

Fucking justice.

I thought about suing her, but she found Jesus during her troubled time. Of course, once she leveled out on the blood pressure meds, she found out Jesus was nothing more than a construction worker who was working on the crown moulding when she had her episode.

Jesus has since been deported back to Canada.

....

"Call your first witness."

"Your honor, the State would like to call Mr...Uh...Sir? What is your name?"

"You talking to me?" I ask.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"They call me Mr. ****."

"Excuse me?"

"They call me Mr. ****."

"Sir, are you aware that asterix signs are taking the place of the letters in your name?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry, personal filter. Call me Comicsartist."

"This is highly unusual..."

"This whole fucking story is highly unusual. Deal with it."

"I am the prosecuting attorney! I am looking to throw you in prison for the rest of your life! I am-"

"A character in a nonsensical tale about that damned Gnome bastard, the Easter Bunny, Judge Judy going apeshit, me killing a Jehovah's witness who I thought was that damned Gnome bastard dressed as the Easter Bunny, and my ensuing trial."

"...Point taken."

"Now, shut the fuck up and get back to calling me to the stand."

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