Originally Posted by neptune

This is as funny as it gets...

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I'm just missayin'
by Ed Naha

Man, did I have a tough morning. I went outside to get the newspaper and, from out of nowhere, seven samurai, Bushido blades shimmering, attacked. Pulling an AK-47 out of my bathrobe I mowed them down. Sensing more danger, I whirled as the legendary Golden Gorilla of Oingo-Boingo swung down from a tree, fangs bared. I dispatched it with the grenade I carry in my skivvies for just such an occasion. Grabbing the newspaper, I spotted terrorist leader Ali-Ali Oxenfree closing in for the kill. Unsheathing my scimitar, I beheaded him near the petunias. I then, made it back into the house, discovering D.B. Cooper, alive and well, en route.

What? You say you have video of me just scratching my butt and watching "The Today Show?" Uh, I misspoke. I misremembered. I was tired. I slept on my leg funny. Hey, I'm only human.

Rest of article here: http://http://smirkingchimp.com/thread/13759