Flying is now something I mostly try to avoid. The last time I flew was sometime in 2004 or 2005.
Here I am--stuck in the airport hoping to make my connection flight home.
I dutifully took off my shoes and tread their filthy airport floor in my stocking feet
Then I got tagged for a random laptop check by this putz under 25 year old kid. My first question to him was did I look like a terrorist?
He said he doesn't know what a terrrorist looks like. I'm already thinking this kid needs a different job.
I tried to tell him to leave me and my lap top alone. That I, being an American pudgy middle-aged white lady, am not a likely terrorist. Yes, maybe I shouldn't have said the white part. He was an Asian kid and could have bristled. But, on the other hand I am a very white middle age little pudgy thing. I look almost Irish. My hair has a tint of red and I haven't had a tan in probably a decade. I'm white Not albino mind you---but you get the picture. I can call myself a middle aged pudgy white woman and get away with it. If you call me the same, I'll hit you for calling me pudgy.
So, the little jerk off takes my lap top. He insists I watch him scan it for explosives from the other side of the counter. He takes this little tab thing and runs over the top of it like he's really doing something. I couldn't resist. I had to do it. I said, "oh no! a bomb."
Needless to say, these people have no fucking humor. He tried to look at me sternly and asked if I thought this was funny.
Did he think I'd back off? Did he not realize I already thought he was a fucking idiot and he was simply cementing my view that he was a fucking moron?
I said, "Yes, it is funny." My husband is of course panicing, thinking I'm going to be subject to a vengeful cavity search anytime now...
However, I persisted, I told the kid, "If you were really doing something our borders wouldn't be wide open and we wouldn't have two border guards in prison for trying to arrest a drug dealer."
Poor husband dear jumped in and told him that I wasn't angry at him personally...I was just angry at the job they were doing at the top.
I guess I should be happy to have been saved from the cavity search. But still....don't you think with my being an American middle aged pudgy little thing that they ought to just leave me the fuck alone?