MENOPAUSE
yEP. It is what it looks like.
Oki doke....
I remember the first time I noticed things weren’t what I was used to….I was in the shower. Suddenly I looked down and saw what I thought was a big huge water bug that must have crawled up through the drain. I crashed myself into the tiled wall of the shower and started trying to figure out how I was going to get out of there. I was of course soaking wet and would have to exit in in a controlled panic so not to kill myself on a wet floor. I remembered my last skid across a bathroom floor into a door jam and the resulting two broken toes—not a good sequence of events. I squished myself tighter to the wall considering my predicament.
Then I noticed a tendril coming from its wide squat body and flowing down the drain. I got brave and toed it with my left big toe. Suddenly it had give and a purple tint. I recalled the bathroom scene that takes place at the flea market in “Serial Mom” where Kathleen Turner’s neighbor steps in the gore on the bathroom floor. I thought, ‘so, this is what gore looks like… hmmm....it looked a bit like liver too, perhaps…if there were some fava beans and Chianti?’
I thought the simple thing to do when I noticed the malfunctioning was to go back on birth control. I had the misfortune to find a lazy bland idiotic incompetent doctor who did just that and only that for me. He didn't even bother to tell me I was anemic when he got my blood tests back. I was already a 10.
The pills didn't work.
I started bleeding like crazy for longer and longer periods. One month I got 5 days off from bleeding, the next month--3.
I kept calling the idiots office and never getting a call back. There's a kind of weak tiredness that tells you something is really wrong.
I started looking for another doctor.
I found out from my new Gyn that I had slid to a 7.5 on the anemia scale: 6’s get blood transfusions.
I couldn't wait to go to bed. Then I'd sweat so I couldn't sleep. I still do that. Then the last thing I'd want to do is get up... eeks. Getting better there though. Indeed, rather than resting in grocery store aisles and wondering about blood transfusions, and such...I'm back up to an 11 something on the anemia scale. Woohoo!
I must thank my friends and other women for talking to me. Thank you so much for the book suggestions and the push to find a new and competent doctor.
Don't do menopause silently. It's too exhausting.
I have thus far read:
The Sexy Years: Discover the Hormone Connection--The Secret to Fabulous Sex, Great Health, and Vitality, for Women and Men (Hardcover)
by Suzanne Somers (Author) "The last words I ever thought I'd hear about myself were "You have breast cancer..." (more)
Key Phrases: natural bio identical hormones, bio identical hormone replacement therapy, minor hormones, Uzzi Reiss, Women's Health Initiative, Diana Schwarzbein (more...)
The Pause: Positive Approaches to Premenopause and Menopause by Lonnie Barbach (Paperback - Jan 1, 2000)
and
Our Bodies, Ourselves: Menopause by Boston Women's Health Book Collective and Vivian Pinn (Paperback - Oct 3, 2006)
I still have to read:
Could It Be...Perimenopause?: How Women 35-50 Can Overcome Forgetfulness, Mood Swings, Insomnia, Weight Gain, Sexual Dysfunction and Other Telltale Signs of Hormonal Imbalance by Steven R. Goldstein and Laurie Ashner (Paperback - Jan 14, 2000)
I am very impressed by Suzanne Sommers. Thanks for the recommendation.
The Pause is very objective and useful. It talks about bio identical hormones as being new.
The Boston's Women's Health book disappointed me. They were very negative. They also give RLS or newly known as Restless Leg Syndrome credence.
We have a bio-chemist friend who believes beyond a doubt that RLS was first a drug looking for a disease. We've been laughing at the commercials for some time now.
Please people--if your legs are restless when you go to bed--maybe--just maybe--you might want to exercise them some point in the day.
Spend some time on a treadmill...your legs will shut up.
We had a friend get diagnosed with it. He is of course 67 years old and totally inactive. He too had his doubts about this new found malady.
I said--hey! How about a nice recumbent exercise bike? Use it first fifteen minutes then 30 minutes a day. Your legs will be still at night.
I hate drugs. Really I do.
You all know the cure for indigestion don’t you?
-----Don’t eat the stuff that gives it to you. Ta da!
I'm looking forward to being on Bio identical hormones rather than this other stuff. He said he’ll put me on those as soon as we get me out of immediate trouble. (tomorrow---I'm supposed to test for and start on bio-identical tomorrow.)
I think this man is good for his word. If he's not I'm going to steal a bedpan from somewhere and...
I'll be patient for now....
gots to hope I don't blow up like a balloon. I'm scared already. You have to know my family's genetics! I have aunts with 70" hips.
They look like walking pears that were subject to radiation. I can't go there.
I will not get fat. I will not get fat.
So.... anyway....
WELCOME TO MENOPAUSE,
ain't it grand?
Yeah Baby.