Heavy_monkey2.0

After dedicating the last 15 years of his life and over 12 million dollars to the scientological auditors Tom Cruise has attained the legendary 62nd level of mastery of scientology or as high church insiders refer to it "being let-in on the joke". Sparks flew and Tom Cruise refused to acknowledge that the creator L ron hubbards great legacy was a 'lesson in humility for wealthy self-deluded douchebags', tom cruise has been quoted as saying "its occurs to me that maybe all you see is Me 'Tom Cruise' who has just paid an additional 2 million dollars to be kicked in the sack, because you want to embarrass me because im tom cruise and you are not, but i assure you i have never seen my place in the universe with such a clarity 0f vision as i do right now."

Tom cruise then laughed maniaclly and assured everyone that he was really really happy as he jumped into a hot air ballon and floated back to the top of the 500 ft tall (seemingly a giant phallus) "tower" he built just last year after acquiring an ancient architectial document scrawled upon the pages of a mathematical textbook that is said to have belonged to scientologys founder when he was a a boy.

----------------------------------------