Dickheads of the Year: My picks for the biggest assholes of 2007 by Bill Maher

cronincal · 12-15-2007, 09:35 AM

Dickheads of the Year
My picks for the biggest assholes of 2007 by Bill Maher

Michael Vick

Stop saying what he did is a cultural thing, just one of those things black folks are known for, like jazz. He's not one of the Scottsboro boys, he electrocuted dogs.

Erik Prince

We used to have rent-a-cops. Now we have rent-a-soldiers. As CEO of Blackwater, the most notorious private-security contractor in Iraq, Prince has his own navy, air force and spy agency. This guy is building nothing short of a parallel national-security apparatus. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but he's a super-Christy Jesus freak who looks on the Crusades the way rednecks pine for the Confederacy.

Bob Murray

The fat-ass, lying embodiment of the Bush administration's regulatory policies. After the cave-in at the Utah mine he owns, Murray hijacked the press conferences and insisted that the tragedy was caused by an earthquake. An assertion all seismologists agreed was wrong, but hey, it was a disaster — no time to start injecting facts. The probable cause was the controversial — but, of course, profitable — practice of retreat mining, where you remove pillar supports in order to get more coal.

Sen. Larry Craig

A man who consistently voted against gay interests, but turns out to be not just gay but the kind of gay who likes to get it in public restrooms. Don't people like Larry Craig and Ted Haggard and Mark Foley prove that being gay really is a hard-wired thing — not, as the conservatives always claim, a "lifestyle choice"? If anyone could choose not to have gay sex, it would be these guys, since their whole careers are built on not having gay sex.

Sen. David Vitter

Even more disgusting than Craig. Caught dead to rights as a customer of the D.C. Madam, and explained it away by saying, "Several years ago I received forgiveness from God in confession." Oh, well, all righty then, it's all good, then you're obviously not a disgusting, horrible hypocrite who runs on family values and then fucks whores at home and in Washington.

College Republicans

The place where cutthroat, amoral putzes like Karl Rove cut their teeth. They're all staunchly for the Iraq War, although none have volunteered to go, even though they're the same age as the grunts doing the fighting they say is so important. Doughy losers who, at age twenty, care more about tax cuts than girls. And lately they've been holding these "Catch an Illegal Immigrant" parties around the country where they basically play hide-and-seek with one lucky player posing as the wetback. Usually you have to be older and married before you start hating life so much you try to blame the Mexicans for all your problems, don't you?

The Solid Quarter

That twenty-five percent of America who would not desert George Bush if he ran over Dakota Fanning with his pickup truck on the White House lawn. Is it a coincidence that twenty-five percent is also the number of people who, in an AP poll of predictions for 2007, said they expect Jesus Christ to return this year!? I don't think it is.

The Asshole Who Shot Up Virginia Tech

I've forgotten his name — which is as it should be! Please don't go look it up and do what the media did and give this shithead what he wanted.

Congressional Democrats

Who, when it came time to render judgment on the administration's patently illegal wiretapping, took advantage of a deeply unpopular lame-duck president by caving in to his every whim. They agreed to allow the Justice Department to spy on Americans without a warrant. I know it is unconstitutional and all, but hey, if you can't trust the sober judgment of Alberto Gonzales. . . .

Alberto Gonzales

At the Bush White House, a constitutional crisis is when somebody actually reads the Constitution. Gonzales obeyed Karl Rove's orders to decimate the Justice Department by firing the U.S. attorneys who weren't Bush loyalists to the point of corruption, then told Congress, I can't recall who put together the list of which attorneys to fire. But I stand by the decision to fire everyone on the list. Which I never read. Also, nothing improper occurred. And I know, because I can't recall.

Michael Mukasey

And let's not forget the new guy, who further shredded the reputation of the United States as a nation of laws by testifying that because Bush is commander in chief, he can basically ignore the laws of Congress. Kind of makes you miss those innocent days when Gonzales just couldn't recall.

George Bush

Come on, no list of assholes and fuck-ups could be complete without the Dipshit in Chief. Who will tell this president what everyone but him already knows? The theory of evolution. And the times tables. And where the sun goes at night. And that Iraq is going to be three different countries. And that everyone hates us and we've run our military into the ground and the Taliban is back and we still haven't caught bin Laden and the economy is tanking and we wasted eight years blowing the oil companies while the Earth is melting. We had a pretty nice house when this Cat in the Hat of presidents came in and made the mess of all time. And who's going to clean it all up — Rudy Giuliani?

Rudy Giuliani

A phenomenon I still don't understand. Rudy says if a Democrat is elected in 2008, we'll be at risk of another 9/11, because . . . he was mayor of New York when they attacked the World Trade Center the first time? His slogan should be "Not on my watch . . . again." And if that's not enough of a reason for him to make this list, try this: The year before he was elected mayor, the NYPD made 720 arrests for marijuana misdemeanors. In the year 2000 under Rudy, that figure was 59,945. That's an increase of . . . a lot, dude. Why am I confident that he'll be on the list again next year?

http://www.rollingstone.com/photos/g...ds_of_the_year

ericgtr · 12-15-2007, 09:40 AM

There are just too many great things said here to quote just one. Wow, way to go Bill!

cronincal · 12-15-2007, 09:55 AM

this comedy cold turkey sucks with bill, tds, colbert gone. he'll be back on hbo in february and the others sooner than that, assuming the strike gets resolved. they need to give the writers their dvd cash and get it over with. what's the most it could be? a few cents per sale? c'mon.

ericgtr · 12-15-2007, 10:01 AM

I don't know, the writers terms seem pretty hefty to me at least from what I've read. Either way our shows aren't going to just run repeats forever I'm glad to see that they are starting their move forward on their own..

The_Heretic · 12-15-2007, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cronincal

Congressional Democrats

Who, when it came time to render judgment on the administration's patently illegal wiretapping, took advantage of a deeply unpopular lame-duck president by caving in to his every whim. They agreed to allow the Justice Department to spy on Americans without a warrant. I know it is unconstitutional and all, but hey, if you can't trust the sober judgment of Alberto Gonzales. . . .

Just so people know it's not just me saying this.

Teri B. · 12-15-2007, 11:34 AM

Damn! Nobody does it better than Bill!

Cookie · 12-15-2007, 12:28 PM

Bill should also put his name on the list, for pretending to be a non-partisian, fair and politically even-handed sort of guy....at the very least, he could have mentioned that certain democrats lied to get into office in the last election by promising to end the war, the patriot act, withhold funding for the war, etc etc. He didn't have the stones to name even one democrat who went back on their word.

Of course, he does have his show to think about...pissing off democrats too badly could discourage guest appearances.

Cookie · 12-15-2007, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Heretic

Just so people know it's not just me saying this.

Sounds more like a back-handed compliment he made. Sorta rolling it into Gonzales' lap and all....

Sean · 12-15-2007, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cookie

Bill should also put his name on the list, for pretending to be a non-partisian, fair and politically even-handed sort of guy....at the very least, he could have mentioned that certain democrats lied to get into office in the last election by promising to end the war, the patriot act, withhold funding for the war, etc etc. He didn't have the stones to name even one democrat who went back on their word.

Of course, he does have his show to think about...pissing off democrats too badly could discourage guest appearances.

You actually think Maher is one of the biggest assholes of the year? Let alone responsible for a politician lying? You may want to add some Ex-Lax to your next batch of cookies there sweet-cakes, sounds like you're constipated; i.e. it's backing up and coming out the wrong end.

bigbrowndog · 12-15-2007, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cookie

Bill should also put his name on the list, for pretending to be a non-partisian, fair and politically even-handed sort of guy....at the very least, he could have mentioned that certain democrats lied to get into office in the last election by promising to end the war, the patriot act, withhold funding for the war, etc etc. He didn't have the stones to name even one democrat who went back on their word.

Of course, he does have his show to think about...pissing off democrats too badly could discourage guest appearances.

Bill has a left fan base!

Why don't you call into Rush & O'Reilly and tell them you want

some counter points? Bill isn't what Cookie wants him to be,

even though he's kissed righty-ass for 2 seasons so they come

on his show, making the show infected with pus.

Not to mention this was done for Rolling Stone!

Bwaaahhhaaaaaaa--it leans left.

You are out to lunch.

12-15-2007, 09:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
cronincal Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,013 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Dickheads of the Year: My picks for the biggest assholes of 2007 by Bill Maher Dickheads of the Year My picks for the biggest assholes of 2007 by Bill Maher Michael Vick Stop saying what he did is a cultural thing, just one of those things black folks are known for, like jazz. He's not one of the Scottsboro boys, he electrocuted dogs. Erik Prince We used to have rent-a-cops. Now we have rent-a-soldiers. As CEO of Blackwater, the most notorious private-security contractor in Iraq, Prince has his own navy, air force and spy agency. This guy is building nothing short of a parallel national-security apparatus. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but he's a super-Christy Jesus freak who looks on the Crusades the way rednecks pine for the Confederacy. Bob Murray The fat-ass, lying embodiment of the Bush administration's regulatory policies. After the cave-in at the Utah mine he owns, Murray hijacked the press conferences and insisted that the tragedy was caused by an earthquake. An assertion all seismologists agreed was wrong, but hey, it was a disaster — no time to start injecting facts. The probable cause was the controversial — but, of course, profitable — practice of retreat mining, where you remove pillar supports in order to get more coal. Sen. Larry Craig A man who consistently voted against gay interests, but turns out to be not just gay but the kind of gay who likes to get it in public restrooms. Don't people like Larry Craig and Ted Haggard and Mark Foley prove that being gay really is a hard-wired thing — not, as the conservatives always claim, a "lifestyle choice"? If anyone could choose not to have gay sex, it would be these guys, since their whole careers are built on not having gay sex. Sen. David Vitter Even more disgusting than Craig. Caught dead to rights as a customer of the D.C. Madam, and explained it away by saying, "Several years ago I received forgiveness from God in confession." Oh, well, all righty then, it's all good, then you're obviously not a disgusting, horrible hypocrite who runs on family values and then fucks whores at home and in Washington. College Republicans The place where cutthroat, amoral putzes like Karl Rove cut their teeth. They're all staunchly for the Iraq War, although none have volunteered to go, even though they're the same age as the grunts doing the fighting they say is so important. Doughy losers who, at age twenty, care more about tax cuts than girls. And lately they've been holding these "Catch an Illegal Immigrant" parties around the country where they basically play hide-and-seek with one lucky player posing as the wetback. Usually you have to be older and married before you start hating life so much you try to blame the Mexicans for all your problems, don't you? The Solid Quarter That twenty-five percent of America who would not desert George Bush if he ran over Dakota Fanning with his pickup truck on the White House lawn. Is it a coincidence that twenty-five percent is also the number of people who, in an AP poll of predictions for 2007, said they expect Jesus Christ to return this year!? I don't think it is. The Asshole Who Shot Up Virginia Tech I've forgotten his name — which is as it should be! Please don't go look it up and do what the media did and give this shithead what he wanted. Congressional Democrats Who, when it came time to render judgment on the administration's patently illegal wiretapping, took advantage of a deeply unpopular lame-duck president by caving in to his every whim. They agreed to allow the Justice Department to spy on Americans without a warrant. I know it is unconstitutional and all, but hey, if you can't trust the sober judgment of Alberto Gonzales. . . . Alberto Gonzales At the Bush White House, a constitutional crisis is when somebody actually reads the Constitution. Gonzales obeyed Karl Rove's orders to decimate the Justice Department by firing the U.S. attorneys who weren't Bush loyalists to the point of corruption, then told Congress, I can't recall who put together the list of which attorneys to fire. But I stand by the decision to fire everyone on the list. Which I never read. Also, nothing improper occurred. And I know, because I can't recall. Michael Mukasey And let's not forget the new guy, who further shredded the reputation of the United States as a nation of laws by testifying that because Bush is commander in chief, he can basically ignore the laws of Congress. Kind of makes you miss those innocent days when Gonzales just couldn't recall. George Bush Come on, no list of assholes and fuck-ups could be complete without the Dipshit in Chief. Who will tell this president what everyone but him already knows? The theory of evolution. And the times tables. And where the sun goes at night. And that Iraq is going to be three different countries. And that everyone hates us and we've run our military into the ground and the Taliban is back and we still haven't caught bin Laden and the economy is tanking and we wasted eight years blowing the oil companies while the Earth is melting. We had a pretty nice house when this Cat in the Hat of presidents came in and made the mess of all time. And who's going to clean it all up — Rudy Giuliani? Rudy Giuliani A phenomenon I still don't understand. Rudy says if a Democrat is elected in 2008, we'll be at risk of another 9/11, because . . . he was mayor of New York when they attacked the World Trade Center the first time? His slogan should be "Not on my watch . . . again." And if that's not enough of a reason for him to make this list, try this: The year before he was elected mayor, the NYPD made 720 arrests for marijuana misdemeanors. In the year 2000 under Rudy, that figure was 59,945. That's an increase of . . . a lot, dude. Why am I confident that he'll be on the list again next year? http://www.rollingstone.com/photos/g...ds_of_the_year
	Top

12-15-2007, 09:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
ericgtr Administrator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 4,859 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 47 Thanked 279 Times in 161 Posts	There are just too many great things said here to quote just one. Wow, way to go Bill! __________________ Barack Obama - Get the facts at BarackObamaWatch.com
	Top

12-15-2007, 09:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
cronincal Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,013 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	this comedy cold turkey sucks with bill, tds, colbert gone. he'll be back on hbo in february and the others sooner than that, assuming the strike gets resolved. they need to give the writers their dvd cash and get it over with. what's the most it could be? a few cents per sale? c'mon.
	Top

12-15-2007, 10:01 AM	#4 (permalink)
ericgtr Administrator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 4,859 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 47 Thanked 279 Times in 161 Posts	I don't know, the writers terms seem pretty hefty to me at least from what I've read. Either way our shows aren't going to just run repeats forever I'm glad to see that they are starting their move forward on their own.. __________________ Barack Obama - Get the facts at BarackObamaWatch.com
	Top

12-15-2007, 11:34 AM	#6 (permalink)
Teri B. Banned Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 6,318 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 37 Thanked 56 Times in 34 Posts	Damn! Nobody does it better than Bill!
	Top

12-15-2007, 12:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
Cookie Fiscal Conservative Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: God's country Posts: 1,339 My Mood: Thanks: 76 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts	Bill should also put his name on the list, for pretending to be a non-partisian, fair and politically even-handed sort of guy....at the very least, he could have mentioned that certain democrats lied to get into office in the last election by promising to end the war, the patriot act, withhold funding for the war, etc etc. He didn't have the stones to name even one democrat who went back on their word. Of course, he does have his show to think about...pissing off democrats too badly could discourage guest appearances. __________________ *Corgi butts drive me nuts.*
	Top

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