Insomniac ramblings

"Komodo dragons sleep headfirst in large burrows.
It is a very, very, very bad idea to even think of pulling its tail." ~ Douglas Adams

"The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he'd had for dinner the night before." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

Male Sharks have two penises (well, "claspers").

850 peanuts are needed to make an 18 oz jar of peanut butter.

An acre of trees can remove about 13 tons of dust and gases each year from the surrounding environment.

Your oral cavity has more bacteria than your anal cavity.

China has more English speakers than the United States. (What is wrong with *that* picture??)

Female canaries cannot sing.

During the average human life, you will consume 70 assorted bugs as well as 10 spiders as you sleep. (Sounds like a good HBO series..)

For every person on earth, there are an estimated 200 million insects.

72% of Americans sign their pets' names on greeting cards they send out.

Every year, 2700 surgical patients go home from the hospital with metal tools, sponges, and other objects left inside them. In 2000, 57 people died as a result of these mistakes. (Ayup..This happened to my father)

The keyboard player for Jethro Tull (David Palmer) is now a woman named Dee Palmer. He waited until his wife died before going through with his longtime desire for a sex change.
(Hmmm, that would be an interesting HBO series too..lol.)

Spam filters that catch the word "cialis" will not allow many work-related e-mails through because that word is embedded inside the word "specialist".

Mailmen in Russia now carry revolvers after a recent decision by the government.

The time spent deleting SPAM costs United States businesses $21.6 billion annually.

One quarter of all creatures on the planet are beetles.

Starfish don't have brains. (Now who does this sound like...?)

A group of crows is called a murder.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when its creator (Frank Baum) looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz".

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Most toilets flush in E flat.

During the female orgasm, endorphines are released, which are powerful painkillers. So headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

On average, the Pentagon uses 666 rolls of toilet paper in one day.

Smokers are twice as likely to develop lower back pain than non-smokers.

Fires onland generally move faster uphill than downhill.

Actual city names in Florida:

Yeehaw Junction
Christmas
Picnic
Fort Lonesome
Mayo
Frostproof
Cabbage Key
Kissimmee
Marathon
Celebration
Two Egg
Ona
Hogtown (renamed Gainesville now)
Aces of Diamonds
Apollo Beach
Jupiter
Oneco
Myakka
Aladdin City
The Keyhole
Jewfish
Valhalla
Perky
Turkeyfoot
Wagon Wheel
Corkscrew
Ybor
Hull
Fruitville
Tryon
Negrotown
Knoll
Up the Grove Beach
Rood
Fedhaven
Rattlesnake
Balm
Hollopaw
Wahneta
Intercession City
Ozona
Howey-in-the-Hills
Okahumpka
Chassahowitzka
Yankeetown
Romeo
Earlybird
Yellowjacket
Halfmoon
Tobacco Patch landing
Deadman Landing
Spuds
Possom Bluff
Cadillac
Buda
Roach
Sopchoppy
Mosquito Landing
Two Mile
Eleven Mile
Bunker
Donation
Niceville
Bagdad
Bratt
(You can find all of these on the map...I used to live there, lol.)

I recently left my native state of Florida to move to BFE Georgia. It has been a *real* eye opener...for example, In Georgia:

• The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.

• All sex toys are banned.

• It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.

• Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.

• Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.

• Signs are required to be written in English.

• No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.

• In Acworth - All citizens must own a rake.

• In Athens-Clarke County - If you want to read your favorite book in public to your friends, do it before 2:45 AM.

• In Athens-Clarke County - Selling two beers at once for the same price is not allowed.

• In Athens-Clarke County - Though being forced to close your business is bad enough, Athens-Clarke County forces one to obtain a license before holding a Going-Out-Of-Business sale.

• In Athens-Clarke County - Owners of mules may not allow their animal to roam around Athens unsupervised.

• In Athens-Clarke County - Persons under the age of 16 may not play pinball after 11:00 PM.

• In Athens-Clarke County - It is illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair. (Define disturbing??)

• In Athens-Clarke County - On Mondays, it is illegal for one to whistle very loud after 11:00 PM.

• In Athens-Clarke County - Alabama slingshots may not be used in the city limits. (How about Florida slingshots?)

• In Atlanta - It is against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. (But I NEED to pop into this store for a sec!?)

• In Atlanta - One man may not be on another man's back.

• In Columbus - No one may practice the business of tattooing on Sunday.

• In Columbus - It is illegal to carve your initials on a tree, even if it is on your own property. (WTF?)

• In Columbus - Model airplanes may be flown so long as they stay on either private property or city property adjacent to the county morgue. (ahhh, okkkkkk.)

• In Columbus - Blow guns are not allowed to be used within the city limits. (Pissed off pygmy!)

• In Columbus - Cussing over the telephone is against the law.

• In Columbus - No one may tease an idiot. (Does that include politicians??)

• In Columbus - Crosses may be burned on someone else’s property, so long as you have their permission. (White sheets optional..)

• In Columbus - To swim in any pond in the city, one must wear a ‘suitable bathing suit’.

• In Columbus - Barber shops may not open on Sundays.

• In Columbus - Stink bombs are not allowed in the city limits.

• In Columbus - Picnics are prohibited in graveyards. (Great, great Grandma doesn't get to share??)

• In Columbus - No person may be buried under a sidewalk of a cemetery.

• In Columbus - Bars may not hold a "Lady’s Night".

• In Columbus - All Indians must return to their shore of the Chattohoochee River by nightfall. (Say WHAT!?)

• In Columbus - The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it. (In Florida it's a felony...fine? fine?)

• In Columbus - It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday. (I can't WAIT to find out why..)

• In Columbus - You can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday. (Chickens..watch yer ass!)

• In Columbus - It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday. ("I'm a Voodoo Childddddd...")

• In Conyers - One may not place a dead bird on a neighbor's lawn.

• In Dublin - Rocks may not be thrown at birds.

• In Dublin - A person must obtain a permit to spread rat poison.

• In Dublin - Persons may not wear hoods in public. (I wonder if this applies to sheets..)

• In Dublin - It is illegal to play catch in any city street.

• In Gainesville - Chicken must be eaten with the hands. (Martha Stewart..where are you?)

• In Jonesboro - It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy".

• In Marietta - Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck. (YEEE-HAW!)

• In Quitman - It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. (I wonder how many chickens receive citations..)

• In Roswell - Erotic dancing is prohibited on Sundays. (BJ's optional?)

• In Roswell - The flooring of adult bookstores and video stores must be nonabsorbant and smooth textured. (Just-EYEWWWWWW!!!)

• In St. Mary's - No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.

Now, that was WAY more info than ya needed, huh?