MOCK The VOTE '08: Beta Addition.

[The following in italics are a collection of Heretical Thought Bubbles as voting transpired.]

"Are the primaries a closed?"

"Yes, but I think you're in the high school next door."

I wasn't when I voted last year. Oh well...

"I also want to check my registration status. I voted in the republican primary in 2000 and I think they might've tagged me as republicans for it." which is a horrible thought, but I doubt she wants to hear that shit.

"Yes, but you'll have to be at the high school."

Thankyou, chucklehead, I heard you the first time. "Alright, thanks." I think there's a problem letting these fossils run the election.

-enters high school while reading above the doors in bright school colors- [NEVER BEFORE. NEVER AGAIN.]

Right, right. This school will never be anything again and it wasn't in the first place. [Yes, this is where the adolescent Heretic went.]

"Excuse me are these going to be closed primaries?"

"Yes, but you have to stand in line over there."

Right, where the voting machines are. Who'da thunk. "I also want to make sure of my registration status."

"You'll have to..."

I HEAR'YA ALREADY!! YOUR VOICE CARRIES!! Jesus...! "Thanks."

[ambiebnt chatter] "you'll have to stand here..." "now tell me. what party are you voting for?" "I'm voting democrat..."

Wow, this guys a walking- well, sorta walking fossil. Would've thought him republican for sure in this state. The right wingers must've fucked up bad to get him outta their corals. uh-oh, conversation warning...

"I don't think I can stand here for thirty minutes."

At his age he isn't kidding. Let's make something happen. "Ah, excuse me sir! Could we get a chair for him to sit on while he waits?" This old lady with her walker might also want a seat. "Hey, would you like a chair too?"

"Yes, thank you."

Alright, lets see if this- he's dressed like a bishop, and he looks as pissy as one too. Oh! Okay he's going to get the chairs.

I can't spend my time bringing chairs over, I gotta have them over here to help register people here."

What the fack dickhead! There's four there! It's just until they wait to verify their voter registration and sign in. What an asshole. [Heretic soon learns the asshole is the guy to sign in those wishing to register republicans for their closed primary] Must be one of Romney's goons.

Well, lets see what hopes I have to jump through to save us from Hillary (R) Clinton and the republicans. "These are all republican registration forms. Do you have any for independent?"

"No, these are only for republican, I wasn't suppose to be here, it was at the last minute and I got to hurry up and get these people registered. Everyone wishing to vote republican has to register over here! So come over here!"

Yeah, definitely Romney's thugs. He's been saying to vote you had to be at his table, but didn't say for which primary the first couple times. That's a motha-fucker right there!

"I guess he's suppose to enter them in."

So I gathered. "Yeah, but he's not terribly nice about it." I think I uttered that low enough, but fuck that guy if he heard me. What's he going to do? Report me to some ward bishop? Anal retentive piece of shit, go sit in your right wing corner and shut your goddamn mouth.

Ah, now we're up! "So are these closed primaries?" and maybe a straight answer for once?

"The republicans' is closed but the democratic is unaffiliated."

Now THAT's what I'm talkin' about! "Also, what's my registation status."

"It doesn't say anything, so you're unaffiliated."

GOOD! I won't have to ditch any party labels!

"Do you want to vote in the democrat?"

Goddamn right I do! Crazy right wing fuckers! "Yes."

"Alright, sign in... and here's your card for the machines."

"Which one's for the democrat?"

"Any of them."

Ah, must bring up whichever menu the card encodes for. "Thanks."

Okay, slip the card in- ah, won't nee the pen so put that away, and here we are... Well! Ain't that some shit!? Biden's name is still on here. There's six or seven of them on here. These guys all dropped out. Apparently it's too much trouble to clear these from the ballots. Huh! Nader should be so lucky! Alright, there's no point voting Biden... FUCKIN' Iowa- Anyway.

[Select Candidate: BARACK OBAMA]

Fuck yeah! Eat it Hillary!!

[Confirm Vote: ... ] That checks, okay go ahead.

Alright it's printing up the receit... readback's correct.

[Cast Ballot: ... ] Okay, we're a go!

"So where to I return this too?"

"Over to him."

So that's that, hand back the card...

"And here's your sticker."

OOH! A STICKER! I voted! What the fuck, wear that on my sleeve. That's it I'm outta here.

"Thanks." Except to that asshole republican poll worker. Not going to get a lot of votes for his party bein' like that. Fuckin' thug!

Now to get out of this parking lot before some retard runs me down.