Ken in Berkeley

Ok, I admit it, I laughed when I saw this one.

ARE YOU A DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN OR REDNECK?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

#You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
.................................................. ...........


Democrat's Answer :
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that
would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold
on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


.................................................. .................................................. ............
Republican's Answer:
BANG!


.................................................. .................................................. ............
Grass Valley Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those
the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

babylonDon

Guess which one I am:

I'm not armed with a semi-automatic weapon. I'm not a victim of irrational fear. I've actually BEEN in a city before, and am sophisticated and intelligent enough not to take my family strolling in unsafe place.

I'm not a hysteric given to overblown asinine scenarios, so I just load my family in the taxi, and he drives us home.

__________________
"America, the greatest, best country that God has ever given man, on the face of the Earth"- Sean Hannity, professional broadcast journalist.

“To the contrary, has anybody ever referred to torture as punishment? I don’t think so.”-Antonin Scalia

okpfloyd

That's a totally allowable sterotype man...

__________________
“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act”.

George Orwell

Cookie

What do I do? Praise Allah right back at him, in Arabic. Then I greet him in Arabic, and hopefully he won't kill us. (I do not have a gun, as I hate guns and I'm a republican).

__________________
Corgi butts drive me nuts.

PursuitOfHappinessParty

Simple. I live in Dallas, so if I and my family were strolling down a deserted street the cops would've already harrassed us enough times we would've gotten our asses off the street.

If said terrorist comes at me with a knife? Two to the body and one to the head. I have a license to carry, and mine IS a 1911 frame .45, BTW. My friends call it my Magnum P.I..

That would make me an Independent.

__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

bornright

You are the one with the knife stuck in your heart.

babylonDon

And you're the great pretender, P-Money

Let's do the Repub version now:

"Bang"

HAH! Safe in their bunkers in 'undisclosed locations' they send somebody else's child in the fray, as they huddle tearfully, begging for big brother to trade their Civil Rights, for an illusion of safewty.

And THEN, they remember that they're all John Wayne.

__________________
"America, the greatest, best country that God has ever given man, on the face of the Earth"- Sean Hannity, professional broadcast journalist.

“To the contrary, has anybody ever referred to torture as punishment? I don’t think so.”-Antonin Scalia

babylonDon

Your dog looks sad. Is it because he's your dog?

__________________
"America, the greatest, best country that God has ever given man, on the face of the Earth"- Sean Hannity, professional broadcast journalist.

“To the contrary, has anybody ever referred to torture as punishment? I don’t think so.”-Antonin Scalia

kblair7

Bang???

babylonDon

That's another sign of your intense cowardice. Where in any way, shape or form, did 'the victims of 9/11' come into the conversation?

Don't you dare talk to me about respect for the victims of 9/11, when you shamelessly pull them out here as some sort of magic charm, to win an internet argument, about a fucking joke.

Your cynical use of 9/11 as a weapon to justify every last one of your basest instincts is revolting.

Where do you get the nerve, to toss that into this conversation, and try to pretend to the moral high ground? You pity me?

You nauseate me.

__________________
"America, the greatest, best country that God has ever given man, on the face of the Earth"- Sean Hannity, professional broadcast journalist.

“To the contrary, has anybody ever referred to torture as punishment? I don’t think so.”-Antonin Scalia