Greetings, America!

VKMHVM2 · 09-07-2007, 03:21 PM

Greetings, America!

To quote The Onion's Jim Anchower, Hola, amigos. What up? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya. If you've read any MSM today, (and fortunately for me, I know some Americans read nothing else) you may have heard that I'm going to be releasing a video next week on the anniversary of 9-11. First of all, let me say that I'm the first dead guy to ever release a new video. Pretty amazing stuff, eh? If you don't believe I'm dead, then you have to believe that the allegedly most powerful military force in the world has been unable to find me after 6 years, yet they say I'm still living in a cave! For those of you who think I'm alive, you'll just have to wait for the video. But I will offer a few of my thoughts. First of all, let me say that I have discovered a weapon of mass deception! ABC News is reporting that my beard is now black, unlike in past videos and pictures where my beard was streaked with gray. The answer is simple; my stylist, who does a wonderful job of making sure I have perfectly white pajamas to wear, (not easy when living in a cave!), turned me on to Just For Men. That stuff really works! The chicks are willingly lifting their veils for me and I don't even have to die to be with virgins!

Enough about me. I want to know how you Americans are doing. From what I've been hearing, things don't sound so good since 9-11-01. With the record rate of home foreclosures and the subprime mortgage debacle, your economy looks to be headed downhill. The war in Iraq must be costing a pretty penny too, with US forces there at an all time high. Too bad your government has to spend all your tax money on bullets instead of insuring your children's health and feeding your homeless. Sounds like the land of the free isn't so free anymore either. I hear my buddy Bush signed the Military Commisions Act of 2006, thereby casting aside your Constitution and the principle of habeas corpus, which protects against unlawful and indefinite imprisonment. The MCA also gives the president absolute power to designate enemy combatants, and to set his own definitions for torture. Bush has perfected the examples set by some Middle East countries. It doesn't matter anymore what the majority of Americans want, Bush and his "elected representatives" press on with their agenda. I may be flattering myself, but maybe he and his Dad learned some things about governing people from me back when I used to get all that CIA money and support.

I don't want to give the whole video away, but let me just say that in the last six years, your Government has done more to opress and restrict you American people than I ever could have dreamed. Those planes flying into the WTC were nothing compared to what has happened to your country since, or what is yet to come. Be sure to see my video. I promised GW I'll be extra, extra scary. He needs all the help he can get.

Sincerely,

Osama " The Bogeyman" Bin Laden

EvilMonkey · 09-07-2007, 04:43 PM

Great read! This guy is butt buddies with Bush too you know, I think they got together for tea when Bush was in the middle east recently.

VKMHVM2 · 09-08-2007, 09:23 PM

Bin Laden Signs with Just For Men

Sept. 8, 2007

In a move Just For Men representatives call a match made in Jannat (Islamic paradise), Osama bin Laden signed a 1-year commercial deal with the beard hair-coloring giant Friday.

Bin Laden’s recent video in which he asks people to “rid themselves of the shackles of the capitalist system” is not a conflict of interest when it comes to the reported $5 million paycheck the evil mastermind will be getting, said Just For Men spokesman Sig W. Devil.

“We are looking forward to working with Osama to show the world that we have the biggest advance in men’s haircolor in 20 years,” Devil said. “Women love men that can fight infidels and have true, natural colored beards without the gray.”

Bin Laden was unavailable for comment on the deal, but his spokesman said Osama looks forward to filming thought provoking TV commercials that challenge democracy and gray hair.

“Osama likes the new look of his beard courtesy of Just For Men and wants everyone to know that being a terrorist mastermind is sexy,” the spokesman said, speaking on the condition of anonymity. The ad campaign’s appeal to Bin Laden was its “Real Men Aren’t Afraid to Color Their Hair” philosophy, he said.

The Just For Men commercials are set to be taped in an undisclosed location beginning in the fall.

Photos available.

TheScroogeReport.com

VKMHVM2 · 09-12-2007, 01:06 PM

YouTube - Osama Bin Laden on Tv ;)

09-07-2007, 03:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
VKMHVM2 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 2,843 My Mood: Thanks: 92 Thanked 71 Times in 54 Posts	Greetings, America! Greetings, America! To quote The Onion's Jim Anchower, Hola, amigos. What up? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya. If you've read any MSM today, (and fortunately for me, I know some Americans read nothing else) you may have heard that I'm going to be releasing a video next week on the anniversary of 9-11. First of all, let me say that I'm the first dead guy to ever release a new video. Pretty amazing stuff, eh? If you don't believe I'm dead, then you have to believe that the allegedly most powerful military force in the world has been unable to find me after 6 years, yet they say I'm still living in a cave! For those of you who think I'm alive, you'll just have to wait for the video. But I will offer a few of my thoughts. First of all, let me say that I have discovered a weapon of mass deception! ABC News is reporting that my beard is now black, unlike in past videos and pictures where my beard was streaked with gray. The answer is simple; my stylist, who does a wonderful job of making sure I have perfectly white pajamas to wear, (not easy when living in a cave!), turned me on to Just For Men. That stuff really works! The chicks are willingly lifting their veils for me and I don't even have to die to be with virgins! Enough about me. I want to know how you Americans are doing. From what I've been hearing, things don't sound so good since 9-11-01. With the record rate of home foreclosures and the subprime mortgage debacle, your economy looks to be headed downhill. The war in Iraq must be costing a pretty penny too, with US forces there at an all time high. Too bad your government has to spend all your tax money on bullets instead of insuring your children's health and feeding your homeless. Sounds like the land of the free isn't so free anymore either. I hear my buddy Bush signed the Military Commisions Act of 2006, thereby casting aside your Constitution and the principle of habeas corpus, which protects against unlawful and indefinite imprisonment. The MCA also gives the president absolute power to designate enemy combatants, and to set his own definitions for torture. Bush has perfected the examples set by some Middle East countries. It doesn't matter anymore what the majority of Americans want, Bush and his "elected representatives" press on with their agenda. I may be flattering myself, but maybe he and his Dad learned some things about governing people from me back when I used to get all that CIA money and support. I don't want to give the whole video away, but let me just say that in the last six years, your Government has done more to opress and restrict you American people than I ever could have dreamed. Those planes flying into the WTC were nothing compared to what has happened to your country since, or what is yet to come. Be sure to see my video. I promised GW I'll be extra, extra scary. He needs all the help he can get. Sincerely, Osama " The Bogeyman" Bin Laden __________________ It's All Here! Dr. Albert Pastore: An Independent Investigation of 9-11 and the War on Terrorism "Missing Links" - the 911 film THEY do NOT want you to see!
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09-07-2007, 04:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
EvilMonkey Administrator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 6,791 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 88 Thanked 505 Times in 311 Posts	Great read! This guy is butt buddies with Bush too you know, I think they got together for tea when Bush was in the middle east recently.
	Top

09-08-2007, 09:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
VKMHVM2 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 2,843 My Mood: Thanks: 92 Thanked 71 Times in 54 Posts	Bin Laden Signs with Just For Men Sept. 8, 2007 In a move Just For Men representatives call a match made in Jannat (Islamic paradise), Osama bin Laden signed a 1-year commercial deal with the beard hair-coloring giant Friday. Bin Laden’s recent video in which he asks people to “rid themselves of the shackles of the capitalist system” is not a conflict of interest when it comes to the reported $5 million paycheck the evil mastermind will be getting, said Just For Men spokesman Sig W. Devil. “We are looking forward to working with Osama to show the world that we have the biggest advance in men’s haircolor in 20 years,” Devil said. “Women love men that can fight infidels and have true, natural colored beards without the gray.” Bin Laden was unavailable for comment on the deal, but his spokesman said Osama looks forward to filming thought provoking TV commercials that challenge democracy and gray hair. “Osama likes the new look of his beard courtesy of Just For Men and wants everyone to know that being a terrorist mastermind is sexy,” the spokesman said, speaking on the condition of anonymity. The ad campaign’s appeal to Bin Laden was its “Real Men Aren’t Afraid to Color Their Hair” philosophy, he said. The Just For Men commercials are set to be taped in an undisclosed location beginning in the fall. Photos available. TheScroogeReport.com __________________ It's All Here! Dr. Albert Pastore: An Independent Investigation of 9-11 and the War on Terrorism "Missing Links" - the 911 film THEY do NOT want you to see! Last edited by VKMHVM2; 09-08-2007 at 09:34 PM.
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