chrisbb

i found this hilarious.

http://www.mil-millington.com/


for some reason, i found this one especially funny, maybe because i have experienced similar things

"I eat two-fingered Kit-Kats like I'd eat any other chocolate bars of that size, i.e., without feeling the need to snap them into two individual fingers first. Margret accused me of doing this, 'deliberately to annoy her'."

__________________
'Some even believe we are part of a secret cabal working against the best interests of the United States, characterizing my family and me as "internationalists" and of conspiring with others around the world to build a more integrated global political and economic structure one world, if you will. If that's the charge, I stand guilty, and I am proud of it.’ - David Rockefeller, 'Memoirs', Random House, New York, 2002, page 405

chrisbb

this one too. i will never understand women. telling her the panst make her ass look big is a good thing. wouldn't she be upset if you didn't tell her and she went out in the pants with everybody staring at her derriere?

"See if you can spot the difference between these two statements:
(a) "Those trousers make your backside look fat."
(b) "You're a repellently obese old hag upon whom I am compelled to heap insults and derision - depressingly far removed from the, 'stupid, squeaky, pocket-sized English women,' who make up my vast catalogue of former lovers and to whom I might as well return right now as I hate everything about you."
Maybe the acoustics were really bad in the dining room, or something."

and this. why the hell cant women just tell us what they want? is it so hard to think of what they want for Christmas? for fuck's sake, they shouldbe damn grateful we care enough to try and get them something they really want

"Presents. Before every birthday, Christmas or whatever I'll say, 'What do you want?' And Margret will say, 'Surprise me.' And I'll reply, 'Noooooo, just tell me what you want. If I guess it'll be the wrong thing, it's always the wrong thing.' And then she'll come out with that, 'No, it won't. It'll be what you chose, and a surprise, that's what's important,' nonsense. And I'll say, 'Sweetest, you say that now, but come Christmas morning it'll be, "What the hell were you thinking?" again, won't it?' And she replies, 'No. It. Won't.' And I say, 'Yes, it will.' And she says, 'Don't patronise me.' And the neighbours freeze in their seats for a moment next door, before jumping up and removing anything they have on the shelves on the adjoining wall. And, in the end, Margret gets her way. And I hunt around in utter desperation for two months for something before finally finding the one item that will work at 7.30pm on Christmas Eve for a cost of twenty-three-and-a-half thousands pounds. And on Christmas morning it's, 'What the hell were you thinking?' But anyway."

__________________
'Some even believe we are part of a secret cabal working against the best interests of the United States, characterizing my family and me as "internationalists" and of conspiring with others around the world to build a more integrated global political and economic structure one world, if you will. If that's the charge, I stand guilty, and I am proud of it.’ - David Rockefeller, 'Memoirs', Random House, New York, 2002, page 405

chrisbb

and my 16 hour rant is now over. but i still find this site funny

__________________
'Some even believe we are part of a secret cabal working against the best interests of the United States, characterizing my family and me as "internationalists" and of conspiring with others around the world to build a more integrated global political and economic structure one world, if you will. If that's the charge, I stand guilty, and I am proud of it.’ - David Rockefeller, 'Memoirs', Random House, New York, 2002, page 405

gorillamom

That is so funny! And true. And they wonder why I'm single!

__________________

The Clock of life is wound but once,
And no man has the power,
To tell just when the hands will stop
On what day or what hour.
Now is the only time we have,
So live it with a will,
Don't wait until tomorrow,
The hands may then be still.

chrisbb

some of them were hilarious. i really hope the guy is joking.

__________________
'Some even believe we are part of a secret cabal working against the best interests of the United States, characterizing my family and me as "internationalists" and of conspiring with others around the world to build a more integrated global political and economic structure one world, if you will. If that's the charge, I stand guilty, and I am proud of it.’ - David Rockefeller, 'Memoirs', Random House, New York, 2002, page 405

Sean

Ok, off and on over the last few hours I was able to get through most of that and it was F-N hilarious!

Malkavian

I'm pretty sure they fuck like bunnies on crack after all this.

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Woof!

chrisbb

i couldnt read it all at once. the laughter made it tough to read

__________________
'Some even believe we are part of a secret cabal working against the best interests of the United States, characterizing my family and me as "internationalists" and of conspiring with others around the world to build a more integrated global political and economic structure one world, if you will. If that's the charge, I stand guilty, and I am proud of it.’ - David Rockefeller, 'Memoirs', Random House, New York, 2002, page 405

AlineaHeart

...because then he'd lose his muse.

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Have Fun! :-)

Sean

I honestly think my favorite thing is her picture; i.e. the exorcist over/under-dub.