Comicsartist

Last May Dennis Kucinich got the last laugh on us all. He phoned home, and the mothership returned. It turns out Area 51 was nothing more than a secret air base. No alien tech, no space ships. Hanger 18, however, under Kucinich's watchful eye in Wright Pat, was chock full of alien oddities. Amazingly enough, all the little green men looked exactly like Dennis. I say "amazingly enough" and not "oddly enough" because no one found it odd at all. We all thought Dennis was an alien. What amazed us was, yes, there is intelligent life out there, and Kucinich was their king. He now rules Ohio with an iron high chair.

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Dawnling

Probably, this should have been typed in Spanish

Comicsartist

Muchas cosas han cambiado en los últimos ocho años. Muchas cosas se han quedado igual. El año se fuera a un áspero comienzo, que parece como Presidente Schwarzenegger rápidamente Austria añadido a nuestro territorio, y permitió a ceder California del país. California legalizó la marihuana, pero aún estamos esperando.

El ex Presidente George W. Bush todavía está en el plazo. Él es querido por traición, crímenes de guerra y crímenes contra la cordura. Un video fue liberado en junio que muestra Bush y Bin Laden tramando otro ataque contra América. Hay debate sobre si es realmente Bush o no, ya que su cabello se ve más oscura que lo que solía ser.

Dick Cheney tenía dos centésimas de su ataque al corazón, y fue quemado en la hoguera de las sospechas de que él era un Homonucleus, en la línea del Monstruo de Frankenstein. Sus últimas palabras fueron registradas, "El fuego del mal ... Go fuck ustedes mismos."

La violencia en el Oriente Medio, una vez más, como una escalada de Irak, Irán, Pakistán, Afganistán, Siria y formó una gran anti-americanos país llamado Irakistania. Por alguna razón, ocho años más tarde, nuestras tropas aún están allí. La guerra se terminó hace mucho tiempo, pero nadie ha dicho que los soldados aún. "Nosotros nunca olvidaremos" mi culo.

Barrack Obama finalmente dijo "fuck" y se unió con Al-Queda. Las principales diferencias entre el grupo terrorista de antaño y el nuevo grupo es: Este A. Al-Queda realmente existe, y B. Dejaron sus malos caminos y ahora acaba de repartir folletos en los aeropuertos. Que se fusionó con el Hare Krishnas, que encontraron renacimiento a través de Brittney Spears' conversión. La opinión popular dice que si se puede enderezar su afuera, todo es posible.

Esto es todo por ahora. Voy a intentar escribir de nuevo más tarde. Si es que Canadá no soltar la bomba en nosotros de nuevo.

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Dawnling

( applause!!!)

I suppose that it should be in Mandarin and Cantonese too!

Comicsartist

Do they have free online translations for those?

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Dawnling

is that how you did it??????
aw!! here I thought that you were THAT good

sigh!

Comicsartist

I'm a tricky one.

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Comicsartist

As are the upright-walking Martian porccupines. We first heard about them in 2008 when NASA released an image taken from one of their rovers in which a large upright-walking Martian porccupine shape appeared. The photo was dismissed as a shadow formed by surrounding rock. Last year, we knew we had fooled ourselves into being fooled.
The upright-walking Martian porccupines arrived in droves. They seemed peaceful enough at first, but that soon changed when another Bush in hiding video was released. In it, Bush calls for Jihad on all upright-walking Martian porccupines while Bin Laden wiggles his tongue and screams like Xena, Warrior Princess. Many a quill was ruffled.
They shot first but many people, like myself, believe it was accidental. The upright-walking Martian porccupine in question was a high-strung upright-walking Martian porccupine. He was shaking, standing there on the front line. He twiched the wrong muscle and a single quill took flight. It was the upright-walking Martian porccupine quill in flight which barely makes a noise at all shot heard around the world. It took out Dick Cheney's pheasant hunting friend, and the war was on.
The memories are too...too fresh for me to write a more detailed account of the upright-walking Martian porccupine/American war, but know that much blood was shed, many quills were flung, and bottled india ink sales went through the roof.
We learned a lot from them. Those upright-walking Martian porccupines were upright upright-walking Martian porccupines. My hat is off to them, and the planet thanks them. Their flung quills made excellent pens, plastic pen manufacturing-and by default petroleum refining-was cut drastically, gas prices finally fucking dropped, and the war against the Axis of Oil came to an end.

And the peasants rejoiced.

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Heavy_monkey2.0

After dedicating the last 15 years of his life and over 12 million dollars to the scientological auditors Tom Cruise has attained the legendary 62nd level of mastery of scientology or as high church insiders refer to it "being let-in on the joke". Sparks flew and Tom Cruise refused to acknowledge that the creator L ron hubbards great legacy was a 'lesson in humility for wealthy self-deluded douchebags', tom cruise has been quoted as saying "its occurs to me that maybe all you see is Me 'Tom Cruise' who has just paid an additional 2 million dollars to be kicked in the sack, because you want to embarrass me because im tom cruise and you are not, but i assure you i have never seen my place in the universe with such a clarity 0f vision as i do right now."

Tom cruise then laughed maniaclly and assured everyone that he was really really happy as he jumped into a hot air ballon and floated back to the top of the 500 ft tall (seemingly a giant phallus) "tower" he built just last year after acquiring an ancient architectial document scrawled upon the pages of a mathematical textbook that is said to have belonged to scientologys founder when he was a a boy.

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