What do you think of when a woman says... - Page 3

Chantytown · 04-16-2008, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neptune

Totally agree -- it's the last thing anyone who is taking abuse needs is shame. They need to feel like they can be in control of their situation, not helpless.

Who paid you to say that?!?!?!?!?!?

neptune · 04-16-2008, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chantytown

Who paid you to say that?!?!?!?!?!?

Vicariously I · 04-16-2008, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chantytown

I get that feeling.

I once introduced a tire iron to a guy's windshield because of that feeling.

I hope by "windshield" you mean "nutsack".

Chantytown · 04-16-2008, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicariously I

I hope by "windshield" you mean "nutsack".

I wish.

ocealdia · 04-16-2008, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lollipop

"I've been lucky enough to have never been hit [physically assaulted] by a s/o [significant other] "

What do you think/say when you hear this statement made by a woman?

I'll chime in later but I want to hear your opinions on it first.

I think she's been rolling the dice on the kind of men she's dated, since she said "lucky."

Quirkygal · 04-16-2008, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lollipop

"I've been lucky enough to have never been hit [physically assaulted] by a s/o [significant other] "

What do you think/say when you hear this statement made by a woman?

I'll chime in later but I want to hear your opinions on it first.

My first reaction was this:

Set higher standards.

Lolli · 05-04-2008, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leftparadise

that was my thought as well. LUCK ??? like you have no choice in picking the man you're with, its all chance and you dont' have any kind of judgement ??/ that said i know some women who make spectacularily bad choices about the men in their life, and looking in from outside i have to wonder how these women (some of whom i consider friends) can be so stupid. they aren't abuser (as far as i know) just total losers (drugs, hot tempered, lazy ass losers)

Exactly!! Thanks...I thought I was going crazy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ianmine

I think, when you look at the stats, she's probably right....she IS lucky.

estimates put abuse (any type) at close to 1 in 5 women....

if you look at women under 25, it's even scarier....the highest rate of spousal homicide occurs in women under 25....1 in 5 girls in high school report having been physically/sexually abused by a date/friend.

And they estimate perhaps only 50% of sexual assaults get reported...dunno what the stats are on other types of abuse-how many door jambs take the rap for a black eye?

30% of womens' murders are committed by and S.O. 75% of rapes and most stalking incidents....were these all 'choices'???

I think not....I'd say she's lucky....

You missed the point - luck has nothing to do with it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chantytown

Exactly, Ian.

shifting the responsibility to the person that HAS been hit because of a "victim mentality" Is a little like telling a rape victim "Well, sure! Rape is awful, but what choices did you make to put yourself in that situation?" or the more common "Well, look at that short skirt. She was askin' for it."

Yeah but that's not what's being said here.

Veronica · 05-04-2008, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lollipop

"I've been lucky enough to have never been hit [physically assaulted] by a s/o [significant other] "

What do you think/say when you hear this statement made by a woman?

I'll chime in later but I want to hear your opinions on it first.

I think she grew up believing most men hit and that she was lucky to escape it. She has obviously witnessed physical abuse and it is her reality. Physical abuse and the psychological toll it takes on everyone involved creates a victim mentality and an I or she deserved it mentality. Sad point of view.

Lolli · 05-04-2008, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veronica

I think she grew up believing most men hit and that she was lucky to escape it. She has obviously witnessed physical abuse and it is her reality. Physical abuse and the psychological toll it takes on everyone involved creates a victim mentality and an I or she deserved it mentality. Sad point of view.

I don't think that's it. Here's her reply when I questioned not being abused, luck.

Quote:

Yes, I call it luck. I call it luck because I was lucky enough to have met and dated two guys in my life who treated me like a queen. They were never violent or disrespectful towards me, even at a time in my life where I felt I didn't even deserve that. Hell yeah I was lucky!

I could have easily landed in that cycle of violence but I was lucky enough not to. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who don't value themselves enough and allow it to happen anyways.

Veronica · 05-04-2008, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lollipop

I don't think that's it. Here's her reply when I questioned not being abused, luck.

Wow, this answer confirms my response. She obviously feels more men would beat a woman than not, and she was lucky find 2 out of the many bad ones.

Second she points out that they didn't hit her even when she felt she deserved it. What woman feels they deserved to be hit, no matter what the circumstances? Her point of view is extremely skewed. She doesn't feel like I do that it would be like aliens landing if anyone I dated had hit me. It would also be the last thing he could do with that arm for a long time after I broke it with a bat.

She expected to be hit and wasn't therefore she feels luck. I never expected to be hit and feel that a man who would hit me is lucky he never met me.

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