Chantytown

4/08/2008
Republicans to Petraeus: How May We Fellate You?:

Oh, yes, what wondrous fellatio is taking place on Capitol Hill right now where sainted General Petraeus is before the Senate Armed Services Committee for his hearing on "How I Haz Not Fucked Up Iraq." Yes, there's a chance Democrats may act like an opposition party and eviscerate the Bush administration, and the Rude Pundit'll deal with that tomorrow.

Instead, let's talk about the inevitable, that Petraeus will stand before the Republicans on the committee, unzip his fly, present his cock, and say, "Who's a-gonna suck it first?"

Senator John Cornyn of Texas jumped on that man-meat early, shovin' that shaft deep into his throat with his Petraeus Petition, which says, more or less, "Holy motherfuck, you are so fuckin' awesome, General, that my panties are wet and I'd spooge on my Granny's titties if you told me to." Proud Lone Star state residents can sign it and send in pictures of themselves bent over, getting fucked in the ass by friends and loved ones wearing General Petraeus masks. It's patriotic fun.

Or Lindsay Graham of Georgia, a knob-gobbler of unappeasable appetites, has already gotten his lips all balmed up for Petraeus, saying in a press release about today's hearings, "This time Gen. Petraeus returns to Washington having led one of the most remarkably successful military operations in American history." Fuckin' Christ, if only Petraeus had two dicks for Graham to bob on.

By the way, that line comes from a Wall Street Journal editorial co-written by Joe Lieberman, which features the shut-down-discussion proposition of "No one can deny the dramatic improvements in security in Iraq achieved by Gen. Petraeus, the brave troops under his command, and the Iraqi Security Forces."

But then again, no one can suck Greek cock like Joe Lieberman. Man, to him, it's like kebabs from paradise. You can bet that even the General himself will be surprised at the enthusiasm Lieberman displays when voraciously devouring that military wood, almost choking himself from trying to suck every last drop of semen out of it. And when Lieberman begs to lick Petraeus's balls clean, up at the Republican table, Jeff Sessions and Libby Dole and James Inhofe will be rubbing themselves raw, trying to come at the same time as the good General.

It's democracy, motherfuckers, the American way, to honor our generals with a ball-washing from warmongers. Let's hope the Democrats do a little crotch kicking instead of just rolling their eyes and shaking their heads while the Republicans get off.


posted by Rude One

babylonDon

A knob-gobbler of unappeasable appetites

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McCain '08: 'He'll Get Those Kids Off Your Lawn'

The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.-Maureen Dowd

ibex

Pornographic assonance. "Huh, huh, he said ASSonance."

ibex

"I"d spooge on my Granny's tittys if you told me too."

BillCosby

Now--------NOW!!!!!!

You know it is against the rules to talk bad about herO's=any one in the service........

It seems you are not supporting the troops.............. Therefore you are giving aid & comfort to the enemy......

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Preventive war is not war!!!!Counter-terror is not terror

HarperLee

I will not speak ill of General Petraeus, but Joe Lieberman is the enemy.

ibex

I'm not saying anything against Petraeus either, I just think the Rude Pundit is hilarious. That and all that homo erotic imagery brings to mind the unbridled worship practiced by a certain Texan for wealthy men or those in uniform.

Kanadesaga

that's because the Crawford Kook never made an honest dollar or did an honest day of military service in his life.

ibex

All true but he wasn't the Texan I had in mind.

BillCosby

I forgot to put the rolling eyes on the end of my post.........

IMO he is no different than anyone else...... IMO he got the job for his willingness to play politics w/ the idiots running the show.. THose unwilling to do so left long ago................

Same w/ the herO now running the CIA.......... & many, many others.......

adhering to the restraints of "policy" may be politically correct but not necessarily what is in the best interest of this nation........

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Preventive war is not war!!!!Counter-terror is not terror